Am I really as neurotic as I feel?

Other goings on

Let's see...non-date was good.  J is very nice, funny, easy to talk to...but there was no romantic match, at least not for me.  We went to a kickass jazz club, and I had 2 of the best martinis I've ever had.  I really, really want to set him up with B.  But, of course B has to dump her loser ass of a boyfriend, if they're still dating, anyway.  It's hard to say...I played counselor last night and helped her realize that if he was even just a friend, he wouldn't do what he's doing to her.  Friends don't treat friends that way.  Even my 4-year-old nephew knows that.  And he does know what he's doing, because he's not stupid.  A complete asshole, yes, but not stupid.  He doesn't respect her.  It's as simple as that.  She said I make it sound so easy...I said it's not, but I want you to get your stuff back.  :-)  It helps that I went through similar stuff last year.  I learned so much, not the easy way, but I learned it.  She said doing that takes balls.  I said I was pretty sure you don't get the balls until you go through it...you have to earn them.  I didn't get them until after we broke up.  I think she's coming around, which is good.

The concert was beyond awesome.  Coldplay puts on a good show.  The lights were with the music, the music wasn't too loud you couldn't hear them sing, the crowd was great.  Chris Martin said he thought we could sing fabulously, the best he'd heard (sure, he was probably just schmoozing, but that's okay).  One of their songs was written in honor of Johnny Cash, so after they sang it (no drums, just guitars and a keyboard) they kept playing, and I was sitting there thinking "Gee, this sounds like Ring of Fire" and sure enough...they rolled into Ring of Fire.  It was great.  One of the best concerts I'd been to.  Politik is so awesome live...I loved seeing the drummer go balls out on the drums.  They get so into it.  Chris Martin runs around a lot.  Fiona Apple was good...she's kind of weird.

Not much else going on...busy weekend coming up.  Friends will be over, parents and nephew will be over.  Probably won't get Bup's ashes until next weekend, though, because cremation takes 2-3 days.  It's kind of disturbing, the thought of cremation.  It's what I want for me...but it's still creepy.  But I didn't want him buried in the back yard, even though that's where he lived for the first 2/3 of his life...he was an outside dog) because what if my parents moved...would we dig him up?  Or leave him there, and risk having somebody else find him?  No way.  Mass cremation was out of the question for me, because then you don't get anything back.  So individual cremation was the way to go.  Morbid, so I apologize.

Anyway...hope the sun is shining where you are!  :-)

 

Posted by: greeneyes at 11:22 | link | comments (2)

He's gone.

Posted by: greeneyes at 07:34 | link | comments (12)

Update

Dad just called.  Bup walked up the stairs after he went outside this evening, but now inside he takes a couple of steps and just collapses...but since he hasn't eaten much all week, and has had nothing today (he wouldn't even open his mouth for his favorite foods)....that's not surprising.  So if he makes it through the night, my dad is bringing him over so I can be with him when we put him down.  If he doesn't...they'll bring his ashes over on Saturday for me.

Posted by: greeneyes at 21:02 | link | comments

Thank you for your thoughts...

We took him to the vet last night.  He gave us some advice to try to get him to eat.  But...he's stopped eating and drinking.  We won't force him...well, my parents won't anyway, since I'm home now.  His not eating is pretty much a DNR.  I scratched his ear for a while before I left...he got up as I started to leave and wagged his tail at me by the door.  He knows.  If he makes it through the weekend, which we doubt he will, I'll drive to my parents' once again to be with him when we put him down Monday morning...it's the least I can do for him.  When we were waiting at the vet's last night, he was wrapped in a towel on my lap.  I looked down and saw a tear on his cheek...not just gunk running down, but an actual tear.

We said our goodbyes.  I'm glad I had the chance.

Posted by: greeneyes at 13:31 | link | comments (3)

The concert, the non-date, the other stuff...later.  Right now, my heart is breaking something horrible.

My best friend is dying.  I don't know when, I don't know if it will be on his own or with some assistance, but he's dying and it's almost too much to bear.  He's lost so much weight from the last time I saw him less than two months ago.  He has congestive heart failure and probably pulmonary edema, so he's not able to eat much.  He chokes on fluid from somewhere.  He can't walk well...I'm pretty sure there's something wrong with his hips.  He still has the same spirit in him...wandering around, getting into things he shouldn't.  But his hair has lost its luster, his hips are sticking out, and I know the end is near.  I'm pretty sure that when I leave my parents' house tomorrow, it will be the last time I see him, unless we decide to put him down, and I plan to be present for that if we make that decision.

My best friend is dying.  My little Jack Russell terrier mutt, my best friend of almost 18 years, is dying, and I can't stop crying.  I can't stop crying the tears that come from the belly, the kind that take your breath away, the kind that make you curl up into a ball and wail the pain away.  We had a chat a bit ago...I let him know how much we loved him, what he's meant to us all these years, what a great dog he's been, and how much we'll miss him.  I also told him that it was okay to go, that even though it would hurt, we didn't want him to suffer any more than he has.  He doesn't deserve that.

Posted by: greeneyes at 00:40 | link | comments (8)

Very slow day.  Disappointed that I'll miss The Office and Earl tonight because of the Olympics.  My pants are loose around the belly...good, but annoying.  Got my hair cut last night...way short...I like it.  The sweet and sour pork roast in the crock pot should be tasty by the time I get home.  Looking forward to the weekend...the non-date/potential actual date tomorrow, cleaning on Saturday, (perhaps another non-date Saturday night?), to my parents' house Sunday for my nephew's birthday, Coldplay concert Monday.  Quite a bit of driving, but that's okay.  I like the solitude most of the time.  Hope the weather's nice.  I get to see B and K next weekend...B's boyfriend is still being a total jackass...we're all fairly sure he's cheating on her...no matter how much we want her to break up with him, she has to go through this and figure things out herself...I did...I learned a lot...especially when it comes to trusting your instinct.  I'm sure she'll figure things out...it's one of those things you have to go through yourself and learn the hard way.  Airfare to Miami needs to go down just a little bit.

That is all.  :-)

Posted by: greeneyes at 17:31 | link | comments (7)

I saw a bald eagle this morning on the way to work; it's been a while since I saw one.  They're such beautiful creatures.

Posted by: greeneyes at 11:07 | link | comments (1)

So it looks like right now I have a non-date on Friday...and by non-date, I mean it's 2 people hanging out with some other people, sort of on their own but sort of not..a date that's not a date...a non-date.  :-)

Posted by: greeneyes at 16:47 | link | comments (5)

Happy Valentine's Day!!! Especially to...

DJ Groovy Slug!!!

Posted by: greeneyes at 07:42 | link | comments (4)

I just got an email from Airplane Guy!!!  He writes a lovely email.  And he got the postcard I sent from Italy.  And he asked in a slightly roundabout way if I was still single.  And I can't get this silly little grin off my face.  And he lives just a few hours away...not far at all, really...

I'm watching my Hawkeyes beat Indiana.  I hope the lead holds up.  I wonder how many times Horner will get hit in the face for the rest of the season.  Something is different this season...a fair amount of Iowa fans have been holding their collective breaths, waiting for the mid-season slide, but so far it hasn't happened (the game at Northwestern notwithstanding).  They're at the top of the conference, tied with OSU, in February...for the first time since the 1981-82 season.  I think it's odd the coaches are wearing warm up suits today instead of regular suits, like they usually do.  A change of pace is okay, though. 

I'm waiting for a friend to call so we can do lunch.  She and her friends are in town looking at bridesmaid dresses...she's getting married at the end of the year...talk about a kickass NYE party...I told her (as did several others) that the football team better not be playing during the wedding, or else the ceremony will have to be moved up or pushed back...the reception could stay the same, though, of course.

I'm going out with a friend tonight...we're headed up north for some dinner, music, maybe dancing...should be fun...live music is always enjoyable.

I have my moving destination narrowed down, but I still don't know where exactly.  My friend M is moving back home to NC, and I'm so excited for him.  After not hearing from him for a month, he finally emailed me yesterday to fill me in on the uberly exciting last month...finding a new job, packing, getting moved...I told him not to go a month without emailing me, not sure I could take it.  Now I'll have someone to stay with in 2 NC cities when I go visit this summer...2 someones, really...my friend C said I could stay with him, too.  And I found a lovely hostel in Asheville, which is good...I think it was Asheville, anyway.

One of the guys at work has been trying to get me to take his scuba diving class...he's a divemaster.  I need to talk to A about diving...if I get certified up here, how much will we get to hang out down in Miami...stuff like that.

The series finale of Arrested Development was on last night...4 new episodes, back to back.  Such a good show.  Speaking of good shows...The Office was hilarious on Thursday.  I laughed out loud the whole time...Steve Carrell is awesome as Michael.  The characters are just splendid, really...they fit together quite well.  I do believe I'll be getting the DVDs one way or another.  I get to see the British version soon...I'm excited about that...haven't seen an episode, but I hear it's quite good.

Six point lead with 1:39 left in the game...just put the game away already!

My calves look awesome.  They generally do, but they look extra awesome...walking and jogging will do that.  I went longer than usual last night and this morning, since I had Arby's for lunch yesterday and I'll be eating out for lunch and dinner today.  I've been doing quite good...not perfect, but good.  I have at least 5 servings of fruits and veggies each day (not hard when I have 3 servings at breakfast alone) and I have re-discovered the joys of ground turkey.  I have to look good for Miami, and I will get there.  My knees and shins aren't too happy about it, but they'll just have to deal with it.  I found my knee strap, which definitely helps.

Four point game, a minute left.  I have to pee, but I won't leave the TV.  Huge, huge block by Hansen...that was perfect. Up by 5...make it 6.  47 seconds left.  The ending of this game will give me a heart attack, regardless of the outcome.

Posted by: greeneyes at 12:59 | link | comments (1)