Am I really as neurotic as I feel?

Two months...two weeks...

I'm happy.  I think he's happy.  Things are good.

Posted by: greeneyes at 10:54 | link | comments

So much for two months...

 But that's okay.  I'm not complaining. 

Posted by: greeneyes at 08:16 | link | comments

Two months!!

He broke up with her last night...the poor guy has been through a lot.  I wish I could make him feel better.  I try, but I'm not sure what to do exactly...so I'm just being myself.

He promised me that we'd be together.  I needed to hear that, to have him tell me and promise me that we will be together...in two months.  He'll take some time to recoup, recover, and relax (okay, i just needed a third word that started with "re" and that was the first thing that popped into my head), and in two months we will be official.  You have no idea how happy that makes me...

I've cared about him for so long...first as just friends, then as "just friends," then as whatever we were.  And now what are we?  We're not technically dating...but we're more than just friends.  Pre-dating?  I don't know.  I don't care, really...I just know that we've promised each other to wait for two months (waiting means no nookie, no fooling around, no kissing...gah) and then we'll be official.  Officially together, officially dating, officially able to not worry about who knows.  I can hardly wait!

I was watching the Discovery channel...a show about love.  Your brain chemistry changes when you're in love.  They put one girl in an MRI and showed her various pictures...one of a male friend, one of her dad, a girl friend...then they showed her her boyfriend.  Visible changes in the brain.  I believe it.  I love this feeling.

Two months...yeah...no problem!! 

Posted by: greeneyes at 17:11 | link | comments

Lovely, lovely night

I'm happy...on the verge of being even happier... 

Posted by: greeneyes at 07:04 | link | comments

 I love being around you.  I love being close to you.  I love being with you.  I love being on you.  I love being under you.  I love you.  I'm in love with you.

I want so badly to really be with you, to make "us" happen.  You make me happy.  You make me feel sexy.  You make me feel wonderful.  It's not that I didn't feel those things before I met you...you simply have the ability to magnify those emotions.  I don't know what it is...maybe it's the way you look at me, the way your eyes crinkle, or maybe it's the way you touch me and kiss me, or maybe it's the way you move me across the dance floor, or maybe it's the sound of your voice...your voice...it's amazing how just the sound of your voice makes me feel...excited, tingly, relaxed, happy...I love listening to your voice.  The combination of everything...everything that makes up who you are...adds something to my life, to my spirit...something I've never experienced before, never felt before.  I want to be with you today, and tomorrow, and the day after, and next week, and next 4th of July, and next fall...I want to be with you.

The fact that I can't be with you hurts.  I know we would be something special, something few people are lucky enough to be a part of.  But, for right now at least, that won't happen.  Maybe someday.  I wish I could wait for "someday" but I can't.  I can't put my life on hold for something that may never happen, no matter how much I want that something.  You decided to be with her, and I can accept that.  I have, I think, for the most part, accepted it...minus a few blurps here and there.  I don't think she can give you what I can, much how you think no other guy can give me what you can.  But it's your life...your decision(s)...I'm not about to step in and tell you what to do or judge you on your decisions.  I will, however, be your friend...one of your very best.  I'll offer my shoulder for your tears, my ears for your  words, my legs and my hands for your dances, and my heart for your love.  That's the best I can do right now.

Posted by: greeneyes at 12:59 | link | comments (1)

I admit it...I'm not ashamed...

I like Billy Joel...

Oh, oh, oh
For the longest time
Oh, oh, oh
For the longest time
If you said goodbye to me tonight
There would still be music left to write
What else could I do
I’m so inspired by you
That hasn’t happened for the longest time

Once I thought my innocence was gone
Now I know that happiness goes on
That’s where you found me
When you put your arms around me
I haven’t been there for the longest time

Oh, oh, oh
For the longest time
Oh, oh, oh
For the longest
I’m that voice you’re hearing in the hall
And the greatest miracle of all
Is how I need you
And how you needed me too
That hasn’t happened for the longest time

Maybe this won’t last very long
But you feel so right
And I could be wrong
Maybe I’ve been hoping too hard
But I’ve gone this far
And it’s more than I hoped for

Who knows how much further we’ll go on
Maybe I’ll be sorry when you’re gone
I’ll take my chances
I forgot how nice romance is
I haven’t been there for the longest time

I had second thoughts at the start
I said to myself
Hold on to your heart
Now I know the woman that you are
You’re wonderful so far
And it’s more than I hoped for

I don’t care what consequence it brings
I have been a fool for lesser things
I want you so bad
I think you ought to know that
I intend to hold you for the longest time

Posted by: greeneyes at 09:20 | link | comments

Why Are You Still Single?

 You're single because you don't want to slow down.

Whether you're working all hours, busy with school, or planning a cross-country move, it sounds like you just don't have time for anyone else in your life...right now, that is. Your timing may be off in other aspects, too. Chances are, you've met that perfect person who just so happens to be married or planning their own cross-country move. So take a step back for a moment. Is there something underlying this? Could it be you're afraid to get involved for some reason or another, and are therefore attracted to people who are simply unavailable?

Whether you're secretly sabotaging yourself or not, try a little exercise. Open your mind to those who are around you (and available!) right now. Then let up on your schedule to let that someone in. That is, unless you want to get married to your goals, and not Mr. Right.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Me?  Afraid to get involved?  Afraid of commitment?  Of intimacy?  Nooooooooooo.........

Posted by: greeneyes at 18:20 | link | comments

Still sick...

I'm getting better, though.  I sound funny when I talk...and even funnier when I laugh.  My tonsils are incredibly huge, though...and by tonsils, I mean tonsils.  :-P

Posted by: greeneyes at 11:26 | link | comments

So I'm sick

 I hate being sick.  I really do.  It disrupts my usual goings on, I miss work, and I feel like doodie.  Plus daytime television isn't that great (I'm being generous).  I turn into an insomniac, so no matter how much I want to sleep, I can't.  My left sinus hurts (the whole left side of my face, really), my muscles and bones ache, I'm coughing up gunk (though prescription cough syrup has helped in that regard...no coughing so I can get to sleep at some point), and I just want to whine.  There's nobody to take care of me (my roommate has enough things to do without having to help out my sorry ass), and I'm too proud to ask for help (in this instance and in life in general).  *whine, whine, whine, whine*

I think the cough syrup is kicking in again (finally!) so I'm off to attempt to go to sleep.  *cheerzzzzzzzzz*

Posted by: greeneyes at 03:33 | link | comments