Am I really as neurotic as I feel?

Who I Am, Jessica Andrews

If I live to be a hundred
And never see the seven wonders
That'll be alright
If I don't make it to the big leagues
If I never win a Grammy
I'm gonna be just fine
'Cause I know exactly who I am

I am Rosemary's granddaughter
The spitting image of my father
And when the day is done
My momma's still my biggest fan
Sometimes I'm clueless and I'm clumsy
But I've got friends who love me
And they know just where I stand
It's all a part of me
And that's who I am

So when I make big mistake
When I fall flat on my face
I know I'll be alright
Should my tender heart be broken
I will cry those teardrops knowin'
I will be just fine
'Cause nothin' changes who I am

I am Rosemary's granddaughter
The spitting image of my father
And when the day is done
My momma's still my biggest fan
Sometimes I'm clueless and I'm clumsy
But I've got friends who love me
And they know just where I stand
It's all a part of me
And that's who I am

I'm a saint and I'm a sinner
I'm a loser, I'm a winner
I'm am steady and unstable
I am young but I'm able

I am Rosemary's granddaughter
The spitting image of my father
And when the day is done
My momma's still my biggest fan
Sometimes I'm clueless and I'm clumsy
But I've got friends who love me
And they know just where I stand
It's all a part of me
And that's who I am

I am Rosemary's granddaughter
The spitting image of my father
And when the day is done
My momma's still my biggest fan
Sometimes I'm clueless and I'm clumsy
But I've got friends who love me
And they know just where I stand
It's all a part of me
And that's who I am

Posted by: greeneyes at 19:26 | link | comments

I'm still in a good mood...happy, if you will.  Not because of anything that has happened or not happened (thought I did have a great weekend...last night was Oscar night!).  Happiness is a state of mind, not something that simply happens to you.  You can decide if you're going to be happy or not, regardless of what has happened (or not happened) to you.  Whatever happens, happens.  Sure, I still have my sad moments, but those are just moments.  They're not how I am; they're not who I am.  I've made the decision to be happy, and I am.

Posted by: greeneyes at 10:18 | link | comments (2)

The Luckiest...someday, this will be me

 I don't get many things right the first time
In fact, I am told that a lot
Now I know all the wrong turns, the stumbles and falls
Brought me here

And where was I before the day
That I first saw your lovely face?
Now I see it everyday
And I know

That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest

What if I'd been born fifty years before you
In a house on a street where you lived?
Maybe I'd be outside as you passed on your bike
Would I know?

And in a white sea of eyes
I see one pair that I recognize
And I know

That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest

I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you

Next door there's an old man who lived to his nineties
And one day passed away in his sleep
And his wife; she stayed for a couple of days
And passed away

I'm sorry, I know that's a strange way to tell you that I know we belong
That I know

That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest

Posted by: greeneyes at 10:49 | link | comments

Life is good

 Last Tuesday was a very low point for me.  The lowest I've been in a long time, but far from the lowest I've ever been.  It was a night that had been brewing for a while, and it finally broke through...tears, thoughts, sobbing, the works.  But I needed that.  It needed to be purged from my system.  I felt better afterwards.   Then Saturday night I had a fabulous time with some of my closest friends..dancing and laughing...I was dressed up and looked sexy hot...the night was just what the doctor ordered.

I'm now back to my usual confident, happy self...the self who has been MIA for a while.  I'm happy.  Things aren't perfect, but I don't expect them to be.  I'm letting go, I'm letting the airline lose my baggage, and I like it.  The baggage will be found eventually, and I won't always feel like this (ask me how I'm doing next week!) but for right now, life is good.

Now if only the sun would start shining...!!

Posted by: greeneyes at 10:09 | link | comments (1)

Tickle Test: Confidence

 Your confidence level is high.

As a result, you may tend view yourself as a wonderful, lucky, or energized person. However you probably also have your days when you don't feel so hot. After all, you're only human. Because of your usual high level of self-acceptance and belief in yourself, you're generally open and accepting of others. People who come in contact with you likely appreciate this generous nature and may seek out your company.

Your intelligence seems to be the trait that you most value in yourself of the five main traits that affect confidence. You also seem to appreciate this characteristic in others.

Posted by: greeneyes at 14:30 | link | comments (1)

Not the song to listen to when you've had a frustrating day, you're emotional, you're missing someone you love, and you're still at work!!

Narrow daylight entered my room
Shining hours were brief
Winter is over
Summer is near
Are we stronger than we believe?

I walked through halls of reputation
Among the infamous too
As the camera clings to the common thread
Beyond all vanity
Into a gaze to shoot you through

Is the kindness we count upon
Hidden in everyone?

I stepped out in a sunlit grove
Although deep down I wished it would rain
Washing away all the sadness and tears
That will never fall so heavily again

Is the kindness we count upon
Is hidden in everyone

I stood there in the salt spray air
Felt wind sweeping over my face
I ran up through the rocks to the old
Wooden cross
It's a place where I can find some peace

Narrow daylight entered my room
Shining hours were brief
Winter is over
Summer is near
Are we stronger than we believe?

Posted by: greeneyes at 16:01 | link | comments

Twenty-three years ago today my grandma celebrated her birthday.   Twenty-three years ago today my grandpa decided the world would be a better place without him in it.  I used to have a memory of him, but I came to realize it was a false memory I came up with after looking at an old photograph.  The hurt, the disappointment, the anger...it doesn't go away.  It stays with me.  I don't begrudge him for what he did, at least not often.  I can empathize with his plight more than I care to admit.  But I feel he cheated me and my cousins out of a grandpa...someone to sneak us candy, someone to spoil us, someone to love us how only grandpas can.  I don't think he fully understood the consequences of his decision; I can't imagine him to be so selfish as to disregard his entire family's emotions and love.

He was a World War II vet...shot down over enemy territory, rescued, and transported wearing a blindfold back to safety.  He raised 8 children.  He walked 6 miles through 3 feet of snow just to see my grandma on her 18th birthday.  He was someone to admire.  I miss him.

Posted by: greeneyes at 20:04 | link | comments (1)

Test results: I'm Calm, Cool, and Collected

The good news is that you've also got lots of heart, and you make sure that people know that you always have their backs. There's almost nothing more important to you than the people in your life, so being a support to them is the coolest thing around. Just like you.

Posted by: greeneyes at 20:16 | link | comments

 Paul Westerberg
Things

Things I wanna tell you
How you make me feel
How you look to me
And how good it feels
Things I don't wanna tell you
Every little thing's all right
What I was before
And where I was last night

Always things
All these things
Always things

Things I try to tell you but come out oh so wrong
Seem to feel pretty good, seem to last pretty long
Things I don't wanna tell you
Now there ain't no doubt
You lit a fire in me
Can't seem to put out

Always things
All these things

Things I long to tell you but I don't know how
Things I don't wanna tell you but I have to now
Packed my things

Things I'm bound to tell you like that dress looks great on ya
I could use some breathing room but I'm still in love with you
Things I'd never tell you, down the line someday
You'll be a song I sing, a thing I give away
Pack my things today, I packed my things today

Posted by: greeneyes at 15:26 | link | comments

 Somehow over the weekend I came to the realization that I am capable of loving someone else.  I opened my heart to the possibility of romantic love, of loving a man so much it hurts.  And hurt it does.  It hurts when you realize you love someone so much, and you want to give him everything you have, and you can't and there's nothing you can do about it.

Posted by: greeneyes at 23:08 | link | comments

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