Am I really as neurotic as I feel?

Where to go, where to go...

 I've been wanting to take a trip for quite some time.  I think I may actually do it, finally...in a couple of months, but I'll do it.  Alone, if I have to (though I'd prefer to go with at least one other person).  I'm not sure where I'll go, however.  My roomie suggested Puerto Rico...I found a plane/hotel package to San Diego for under 400 bucks for 3 nights (if I can find 3 other people to join me), which isn't too bad.  There's always Florida...I even know some people in Florida who could give me tips on where to go and what to do.  I figure I should get a bit more traveling under my belt before I head to Europe next year (oh, yes, I'm going...England, France, Italy, and Spain at least).  Plus I just need to get away and take a real vacation; I don't remember the last time I took even a little weekend road trip with a friend or two.  Sure, I've traveled for work (and will again next month) but that doesn't really count.  On this vacation, I won't work...I'll eat too much...imbibe...dance...flirt...and most importantly relax...breathe deeply...enjoy the sunshine...just get away from everything.  I don't know where I'm going, or when exactly, but I know it will be wonderful...and I'm going to look damn good. 

Posted by: greeneyes at 20:58 | link | comments

American Idol or not...girl can sing

Posted by: greeneyes at 10:36 | link | comments

Life is funny.  Not funny ha-ha (though there are plenty of funny ha-ha moments to make it through the day), but funny in a tilt-your-head-with-a-quizzical-look-on-your-face sort of way.  For much of my life, I had a basic plan:  get good grades, go to college, meet man of my dreams (or a good enough stand-in), start career, marry man of my dreams (or said stand-in), enjoy successful career, start a family, ride off into the sunset (or park the minivan in the two-car garage without hitting the kids' bikes).  The details would work themselves out later.

Oh, such naiveté.

I changed my major, didn't go to grad school, moved away on a planned whim, moved back on a bigger whim, have no health insurance, rarely date (okay, never), am highly undecided regarding kids (oh, they're great, as long as they aren't mine), am convined man of my dreams does not live in the vicinity but want to buy a house anyway (despite ridiculously inflated real estate values).

On the bright side, my financial plans are somewhat slowly falling into place.  But I digress.

Since things in my life rarely turn out how I expect or want them to, I have to believe things happen for a reason.  I guess I don't have to; I choose to.  Call it a coping mechanism if you want.  But when things don't turn out how I hope, what else am I supposed to believe?  That I don't deserve good things?  I'd rather not.

So here I sit, trying to convince myself that bigger and better things await, that I deserve so much more than I have and  so much more than I've had, and that things aren't as bad as they may seem.  Sometimes I have to try harder, sometimes not so much.  But I just have to make sure I keep trying.

Posted by: greeneyes at 20:31 | link | comments

Driftin' Away

With all of my heart, I know I could love you
But, with all of my soul, I’m driftin away
With all of my mind, I know you could save me from myself
And anything else,
With all of my strength, I wanna reach out for you
With every breath, I call out your name
With every step, I just wanna turn around and say
Baby make it okay

But I’m so afraid that you’ve forgiven me one too many times
And I’m so afraid to give my heart again, just to have a change of mind
And I’m not quite sure that you can trust me
And I would hate to have you find me again
Baby, like the wind, driftin away

It blows and nobody knows where it’s going to
(I’m driftin away)
It blows and nobody know what it’s gonna do

With all of my heart, I know I disappointed you
And although I’m real sorry
I don’t know how to save this time
But, if I would lose you
I know I would go completely out of my mind
I’m running out of time

And I’m so afraid that you’ve forgiven me one too many times
And I’m so afraid to give my heart again just to have a change of mind
And I’m not quite sure that you can trust me
And I would hate to have you find me again
Baby, like the wind, driftin away

It blow and nobody knows where it’s going to
(driftin away)
It blows and nobody knows what it’s gonna do
(you see my heart at night)
At night you can hear it cry as the tear drops fall from heaven’s eyes
(fallin down)
And somehow you know it’s true, these tears that fall are fallin for you
(fallin for you)

It blows and nobody knows where’s it going to
(fallin down)
It blows and nobody knows what it’s gonna do
At night you can hear it cry as the tear drops fall from heaven’s eyes
And somehow you know it’s true these tears that fall are for you

Posted by: greeneyes at 11:06 | link | comments

Lovely insomnia...

Or not...

This has been a pattern for much of the last couple of weeks. Wake up between 3 and 4 (wide awake, of course), stay up for a couple (or three) hours, then fall back asleep (or just give in to exhaustion) for an hour or two. I've now been up for about two and a half hours. It's quite a pain in the arse, frankly. Looks like I'll be late to work, which is fine. The roads (icy and snowy) are crappy, anyway. It would help if I had a manservant who would bring me hot chocolate in bed...hot chocolate and cinnamon toast. But for now, I'll hope for falling back asleep.

Posted by: greeneyes at 05:50 | link | comments

I'm such a sucker for horoscopes...

It's not that I believe them, necessarily...but it's fun to think there's some truth in them...or maybe I just need a more exciting life...

--------------------

Sun in Scorpio:

You are deep and emotionally complex. Most Scorpios approach life with tremendous intensity of purpose. You carry an aura of mystery around you that intrigues other people, whether you are aware of it or not.

This is a sign that has a reputation for being highly sexual. It's not that Scorpios are necessarily interested in sex any more than the other signs; it's just that you radiate such intensity of purpose with a strong magnetic appeal.

Posted by: greeneyes at 18:34 | link | comments

Dare me to move...

Welcome to the planet
Welcome to existence
Everyone's here
Everyone's here
Everybody's watching you now
Everybody waits for you now
What happens next?
What happens next?

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened before

Welcome to the fallout
Welcome to resistance
The tension is here
The tension is here
Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened

Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna go?
Salvation is here

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself
Lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened
Today never happened
Today never happened before

Posted by: greeneyes at 19:01 | link | comments

Happy new year indeed

One of the best games I've seen...and I've seen some doozies. I love the Hawks, I love Kirk, I love the coaches, I love the players. I love it, I love it, I love it!

Posted by: greeneyes at 17:16 | link | comments

Happy New Year!!

1.5 hours before the game of the day...Iowa against LSU. The roads are icy, so I'll be stuck at home for the game, but that's okay. Perhaps a dash to the store for some al-key-hol is in order, however...and food. I'm hungry.

Posted by: greeneyes at 10:28 | link | comments