Am I really as neurotic as I feel?

The Greatest Man

The father-daughter relationship is among the most sacred of all time. He is the first man we fall in love with, the first man we want to marry. With pigtails in our hair and pink in our cheeks, we crawl on the jungle gym and play basketball, all the while wondering if he's just letting us win but not caring too much if he is. We stand on his feet while we dance. We ride on his shoulders when we go to the zoo or the fair. He buys us too much candy. We have him wrapped around our fingers, which is just how he likes it. We want nothing more than to get his approval, nothing more than to make him happy.

My dad used to say "damn dog" after our dog would do something he wasn't supposed to, like pee inside or get loose and go explore the town. I didn't like hearing him say that about my dog. I know he was just frustrated, and he really did love the damn dog...still does, actually, and has even been known to pet him. But it still hurt me to hear him say something negative about someone (yes, my dog is someone) I cared about. I can't even begin to imagine how much it would hurt me to hear him say something like that about me.

I know I caused my parents plenty of frustration, even though I was a good kid by all accounts. It's what kids do; that's why we're kids. But not once do I remember him complaining about me. Kids are more perceptive than you might think...we hear things we shouldn't hear, we find out things we shouldn't know, and we sense things we shouldn't sense. I remember fights my parents had from 15 years ago, from 5 years ago. We remember. Not to bring any cheesiness into this blog entry, but John Mayer's song "Daughters" is really quite fitting...

On behalf of every man
Looking out for every girl
You are the god and the weight of her world

So fathers be good to your daughters,
Daughters will love like you do, yeah
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters too


If you're a daddy's girl like me, you probably understand everything I've said. If you're a daddy, maybe you've learned something. If you are a daddy or a daddy's girl, make sure you cherish what you have...and try not to mess it up too badly.

Posted by: greeneyes at 23:53 | link | comments (2)

Your Dominant Intelligence is Logical-Mathematical Intelligence

You are great at finding patterns and relationships between things. Always curious about how things work, you love to set up experiments. You need for the world to make sense - and are good at making sense of it. You have a head for numbers and math ... and you can solve almost any logic puzzle. You would make a great scientist, engineer, computer programmer, researcher, accountant, or mathematician.

Posted by: greeneyes at 11:20 | link | comments (2)

Your Element Is Water

A bit of a contradiction, you can seem both lighthearted and serious. That's because you're good at going with the flow - but you also are deep. Highly intuitive, you tune in to people's emotions and moods easily. You are able to tap into deep emotional connections and connect with others. You prefer a smooth, harmonious life - but you can navigate your way around waves. You have a knack for getting people to get along and making life a little more peaceful.

Posted by: greeneyes at 11:16 | link | comments

You Are a Visionary Soul

You are a curious person, always in a state of awareness. Connected to all things spiritual, you are very connect to your soul. You are wise and bright: able to reason and be reasonable. Occasionally, you get quite depressed and have dark feelings. You have great vision and can be very insightful. In fact, you are often profound in a way that surprises yourself. Visionary souls like you can be the best type of friend. You are intuitive, understanding, sympathetic, and a good healer. Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul

Posted by: greeneyes at 11:11 | link | comments

Please Remember

Time, sometimes the time just slips away
And your left with yesterday
Left with the memories
I, I'll always think of you and smile
And be happy for the time
I had you with me
Though we go our seperate ways
I won't forget so don't forget
The memories we made

Please remember, please remember
I was there for you
And you were there for me
Please remember, our time together
The time was yours and mine
And we were wild and free
Please remember, please remember me

Goodbye, there's just no sadder word to say
And it's sad to walk away
With just the memories
Who's to know what might have been
We'll leave behind a life and time
We'll never know again

Please remember, please remember
I was there for you
And you were there for me
And remember, please remember me

Please remember, please remember
I was there for you
And you were there for me
Please remember, our time together
The time was yours and mine
And we were wild and free
And remember, please remember me

And how we laugh and how we smile
And how this world was yours and mine
And how no dream was out of reach
I stood by you, you stood by me
We took each day and made it shine
We wrote our names across the sky
We ride so fast, we ride so free
And I had you and you had me

Please remember, Please remember

Posted by: greeneyes at 17:00 | link | comments

Breakaway

Grew up in a small town
And when the rain would fall down
I just stared out my window
Dreaming of what could be
And if I'd end up happy
I would pray (I would pray)

Trying hard to reach out
But when I'd try to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I pray (I would pray)
I could breakaway

[Chorus:]
I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky
I'll make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I loved
I'll take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway

Wanna feel the warm breeze
Sleep under a palm tree
Feel the rush of the ocean
Get onboard a fast train
Travel on a jet plane, far away (I will)
And breakaway

[Chorus]

Buildings with a hundred floors
Swinging around revolving doors
Maybe I don't know where they'll take me but
Gotta keep moving on, moving on
Fly away, breakaway

I'll spread my wings
And I'll learn how to fly
Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye
I gotta take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget the place I come from
I gotta take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway, breakaway, breakaway

Posted by: greeneyes at 18:27 | link | comments (2)

Sweetest Goodbye

Where you are seems to be
As far as an eternity
Outstretched arms open hearts
And if it never ends then when do we start?
I'll never leave you behind
Or treat you unkind
I know you understand
And with a tear in my eye
Give me the sweetest goodbye
That I ever did receive

Posted by: greeneyes at 23:46 | link | comments (1)

Italia, parte uno

I decide to move to Italy.

It's not an easy decision, or one made on a whim. Friends and family aren't necessarily thrilled with my announcement, but ultimately that is not my concern. I understand their unease, but I've made up my mind and it cannot be changed.

I look forward to the markets selling fresh food-cheeses and fruits and herbs and a bounty of culinary treasures one cannot find anywhere else. The smell of art hanging in the Accademia Gallery, slightly musty but inviting and intriguing, slightly exhilarating, as if there is a surprise hiding within its walls. The gentle breezes in the vineyards, pushing the scents of earth and ripening grapes into my nostrils, setting off pleasure sensors in my olfactory I never knew existed. The almost regal enchantment of the Vatican, a city within a city and a world all of its own, boasting architecture and tradition found nowhere else.

I need to experience this.

I head east from home and cross field after field in Illinois and Indiana, maneuver through the mines of southeastern Ohio, enjoy the scenery in the Virginias. I dawdle in D.C., looking forward to Italy but taking a moment to enjoy my motherland one last time. I get on a boat that will carry me across the Atlantic and mingle with others who are bubbling with excitement as the voyage to Europe begins.

You may be wondering at this point why I chose such an onerous means of traveling to Italy. In fact, your exact thought could be, "Dude. What the hell? Why not just fly over?" And that would be a valid question, one that I would probably ask you if our situations were reversed. Sure, flying would be easier, but I didn't want this to be easy. Part of the joy in traveling is the journey, not always just the destination. The decision to move to Italy was not an easy one to make; the journey should not be an easy one, either. The masochist in me refuses to allow me to turn this into a cakewalk. This doesn't have to make sense to you, though. I don't need to explain myself to you; this isn't your life. But I appreciate your concern.

My boat unexpectedly lands in Spain. Why isn't important. Call it an act of fate or, if you are so inclined, an act of God. At first I am a bit distraught that my travels have been diverted. The plans, though seemingly arduous and perhaps unnecessarily long, did not include such a deviation. But I refuse to let this detour ruin my journey-I knew it wouldn't be easy; I wouldn't let it be easy. I will make the most of my time in Spain.


to be continued…

Posted by: greeneyes at 15:45 | link | comments (4)