Am I really as neurotic as I feel?

"When were you under me?"

How do you get over someone you don't want to be over?  There are plenty of excuses why we shouldn't be together, but there are just as many reasons why we should (or perhaps I'm just deluding myself).  I don't care that we want different things...I don't care that we're at different stages in our lives...I don't care that I have a sweet tooth and he's OCD about carbs.  The friendship...the laughter...the teasing...the flirting...the inside jokes...the kisses...  I just want to be with someone I love, someone who makes me laugh, someone who makes me happy just by being around me...he fits the bill, so I want to be with him.  I can't be with him, though, and that hurts me in ways I didn't know I could hurt.  I wish I could just shut off my emotions and turn off my heart to make this easier.  That can't happen, of course, so I just have to go on.  We're still friends; he's still one of my best friends.  I don't see that changing, and if it did I can't imagine I'd handle that very well.  So maybe this is for the best...somehow.

 

I Don't Stand a Ghost of a Chance with You

I love you oh so madly
I need your love so badly
But I don't stand a
Ghost of a chance with you

I thought at last I had found you
But other arms surround you
And I don't stand a
Ghost of a chance with you

If you'd surrender just for
A tender kiss or two
You might discover that
I'm the lover meant for you
And I'd be true

So what's the good of all my scheming?
I know I must be dreaming
For I don't stand a
Ghost of a chance with you

Posted by: greeneyes at 10:05 | link | comments (1)

What a crappy day.

Posted by: greeneyes at 11:10 | link | comments (1)

Aside from the romantic-aspect of my life, I’m proud of myself (not to say that I’m ashamed of my romantic life…far from it…it’s just in a bit of a dither right now).

 

One of my financial goals as of last fall was to have my credit cards paid off by August 1 of this year.  After I moved back to my college town, I was offered a full-time, temporary position.  That position has ended, but the managers loved me so much they put me in a new position that pays more.  A stable paycheck has allowed me to pay off my credit cards two months earlier than I had hoped.  I’m saving money.  I’m learning what to do with my money (thank you, MSN Money!).  I get a hint of a tingle in my spine when I think about opening a Roth IRA, and putting my savings into a money market account instead of just a regular savings account (though the eight cents of interest I get a month are nice, I think I could handle a little more).

 

I’ve been itching for a new car for the past few months.  Not a brand new car, of course, because the logical side of me says, “Let some other sucker take the depreciation hit.  Buy something that is no more than a few years old and will last a long time.”  My current car is driving me crazy, despite the fact that I love it…when it runs well, that is.  CD player, leather seats, a window that rolls down all the way with one touch of the button (hey, I’m easy to please)…it’s nice.  But there are the oxygen sensors that malfunctioned…the cable from the shifter to the transmission that broke (it’s a good thing to be able to shift your car and not have to have someone manually adjust the cable where it meets up with the transmission)…the window that won’t roll down because the motor’s broken…and on and on.  I’m tired of driving along, wondering what the next catastrophe will be and how much it will cost.  I could start a little diatribe about how American automakers have become rather lax on their primary duty (making dependable, affordable, quality cars) but I won’t.  Perhaps I’ll save that for a future blog, if you’re incredibly unlucky.

 

The itch, however, will not be scratched in the near future.  The financially uber-practical side of me has forced its way into my mindset.  Despite the fact that I do have money saved up, it’s not nearly enough for a decent down payment (forget those zero-down deals, I ain’t no financing fool).  And, as a commitment-phobe, I hesitate to commit to something for 4-5 years.  My longest commitment to anything was a college education (8 semesters over 4.5 years).  I don’t think I could handle the emotional stress of making a commitment to something like a car loan right now.  Fortunately I’m not in the house-buying market, either, else I’d have a case of cold feet so bad my toes would be encased in ice cubes.

 

I believe I’m making good financial decisions right now.  I have no credit card debt, I’m saving almost as much as possible, I’m looking into investing, and my spending is well under control (though it never reached the “lavish” category by any stretch of the imagination).  I think I'm *gasp* growing up.  Oh, the horror!...

 

So, yeah, I’m proud of myself. 

Posted by: greeneyes at 13:33 | link | comments

I love Bobby Darin...partly because I can sing along with his songs (and not sound horrible).

Posted by: greeneyes at 12:59 | link | comments (2)

So complicated....so unbelievably complicated.....

Posted by: greeneyes at 00:01 | link | comments